http://thebuslers.blogspot.com/
Julie's post from March 20th is perfect for me. I am struggling with anxiety, peace and understanding. All noise from without, within, kids, everything is like nails on a chalkboard. I cannot stop. I cannot be at rest and read. Even this post was hard for me to feel completely at rest. But it did touch me and I have printed it to post so I can refer to it often.
I deal with shame and guilt. I listen to lies of Satan. This post of Julie's calls me out - stop listening to the lies of satan. He doesn't deserve the credit of my listening.
Yes, I am dealing with something. But I have been dealing with something spiritual for alot longer. I have trouble with forgiving. Hopefully, this process I have to go through will help me learn to truly forgive and not care about the sins of others but to focus instead on the grace given to me at a gift. I know those that know me must think "here she goes, getting all churchy". Maybe if I actually talked and lived more churchy I would be better off. I was raised in a small town where you didn't talk about your feelings of anythin - not even church. Old school, right? Hopefully, I can become more confident in sharing what I learn about grace. Hopefully, you will stay with me and help me along to learn about grace. Even if you think it will make me mad.
More later.
I think Julie's post called A LOT of us out! It was a great post. Hey, we are still interceding for you and believing that whatever God is calling you and your family to walk through right now is a perfecting and refining of your faith...and is going to leave you stronger and fuller than you've ever been. I'm not considering my previous prayers unanswered. I am grateful if this is a right diagnosis because it means a right course of action can be followed. It's just a different answer, and one that God can still use for good. Love you!
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