First morning back home, and just caught up on your blog. We were "off the grid" in TX. I just wanted to tell you that you are NOT a bad mother. You have two babies right now...and that's HARD! It's wonderful, but it is a crazy, difficult, exhausting challenge too! You are completely entitled to ANY feeling you have, positive or negative. Now, you have to find an outlet for those negative feelings, but I think that you are doing that. Also, you're still postpartem...so give yourself a break. I can't imagine having a newborn with even one of our kids right now! I know you are doing everything you can to be available and to love both of your babies. Neither Grayson nor Ruth will be scarred from weaning or the inevitable attention loss when a new baby is born. When you are actually getting to sleep again, life will be much better. I think that's the hardest thing. I had a love/hate relationship with nursing. It was wonderful bonding time, but it was also painful, took forever, sometimes Emma wouldn't gain enough...etc. And from the beginning I was always wondering if I was giving equal time, attention and love to each of them. Try not to hold yourself to an impossible standard, Natalie. Ask the Lord to equip you for each day as it comes, and He will. You can do all things through His strength! :-)
Oh my gosh that's TOO funny!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst morning back home, and just caught up on your blog. We were "off the grid" in TX. I just wanted to tell you that you are NOT a bad mother. You have two babies right now...and that's HARD! It's wonderful, but it is a crazy, difficult, exhausting challenge too! You are completely entitled to ANY feeling you have, positive or negative. Now, you have to find an outlet for those negative feelings, but I think that you are doing that. Also, you're still postpartem...so give yourself a break. I can't imagine having a newborn with even one of our kids right now! I know you are doing everything you can to be available and to love both of your babies. Neither Grayson nor Ruth will be scarred from weaning or the inevitable attention loss when a new baby is born. When you are actually getting to sleep again, life will be much better. I think that's the hardest thing. I had a love/hate relationship with nursing. It was wonderful bonding time, but it was also painful, took forever, sometimes Emma wouldn't gain enough...etc. And from the beginning I was always wondering if I was giving equal time, attention and love to each of them. Try not to hold yourself to an impossible standard, Natalie. Ask the Lord to equip you for each day as it comes, and He will. You can do all things through His strength! :-)
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