10. When you lay your son down to change his diaper he hits himself in the 'junk' - on purpose!
9. Your daughter just got new glasses, and you fight the urge to call her 'four eyes' (true story)
8. You don't think twice to send your son out into the world with a pink pacifier
7. Your daughter toots on you for fun, because you have done it to her.
6. Your daughter has cavities. But all you can think about is how she will act 'on the gas'
5.When your daughter hits your son, you tell him to 'Hit 'er back!'
4.Your daughter marries Ken and Barbie and Cinderalla and Belle and Ava (she's a real person - but you're cool with it)
3.Your daughter sleeps with 'naked Ken' but it's ok - cause they're married
2.Your missing a bolt and you think that your son swallowed it, but you don't do ANYTHING about it. Your plan of action is to 'check the pooh' in a couple days.
1. When your daughter gets angry and wants to hurt your feelings she calls you 'a Judas' (yes, that Judas)
You also know that you aren't a good parent when your wife asks you to clarify that you wrote this! Hope you liked it.
BB
That was a fabulous post. We all have our not-so-stellar parenting moments. Thanks for your candor, Brian.
ReplyDeleteI think you and Natalie are GREAT for eachother! :-)
P.S. I kinda knew it was Brian, because I believe Natalie used to always refer to the passing of gas as "letting a stinker."
ReplyDeleteThose are awesome. I knew it had to be Brian for Jen's reasoning as well. I still remember walking in the green room after dress rehearsal for Serenade with Natalie crouched over with her bum in the air because stinkers travel up. ha ha ha.
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